I have been playing many sports for a long time. I have had a number of really great coaches and teammates and have never had a problem with any of them. Until recently, that is.
A couple of weeks ago, I was asked to play in an important tournament. I was asked last year as well, but decided against going due to prior commitments. But because they really seemed to need me this year, and I didn’t have any other conflicts, I agreed to play. I had three practices before the tournament. The first practice was run by a coach who wasn’t the regular. I knew him prior to that practice and he’s very nice and good at what he does. The other two practices were with the actual head coach of the team. At these practices, it quickly became clear that, for the first time in my life, I might have a problem. The coach was very negative. He yelled about every little mistake one of us made, and gave almost no positive feedback throughout the practice. It made me very uncomfortable. Not only was I upset when he yelled at me, but actually moreso when he yelled at my teammates.
After the last practice before the tournament, I was so upset about how it was going that my parents and I drafted an email telling the head of the program that I wouldn’t be playing because of the way our team’s coach acted.
That night, my dad suggested that rather than send the email right away, I instead “sleep on it” and make my final decision in the morning—so as not to let my emotions, at the time, influence me too much. When we woke up, we discussed our options. We decided that the best thing to do was edit the draft email to indicate that I was thinking of not playing in the tournament, to see if he had anything to say that would help.
Later that day, after we sent the email, the head of the program called us and told us that he really wanted me to play. Not only because he thought I would be a great asset to the team, but also because it was a very exciting and different opportunity that I wouldn’t be able to have again. The thing that persuaded me most was probably when he said that he would personally be there to coach as well and be able to “shield” the other girls and me, if our coach was getting too into the games. I knew him better than I knew our coach, and I knew that he would, as he said, step in if it was necessary.
I was still a little worried, but I decided that I would play. My reasons being: the head of the program would now be there to keep things calm; I love the sport and knew it would be a very special, rare experience; and the girls on my team, and my coach, needed me and were counting on me.
Turns out that there wasn’t any excessive negativity or yelling, only the appropriate amount coming from a coach. I did very well and had so much fun. Our team won the entire tournament, being the first team to EVER win from our town, and now my team is going out of state for the National Championship!
I’m so thankful that my parents, and the program head, persuaded me to go and at least try. After experiencing the tournament, I definitely would not go back and change my decision to play. On top of a great tournament, I learned an even greater life lesson.
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